Don't hate me because I fill your brains with useless information.

But this is important to me.

Very. Important.




Goofy and Donald sing my name several times in this short cartoon.

(okay, not really, but I SWEAR if you're not paying attention to their words they are SCREAMING my name)

Just watch and find out for yourself. Tell me if I'm losing my mind. It happens at the very beginning so it won't take up too much of your time.

Like I said, this is very important.

New discoveries.

Henry discovered a love of balloons and it seems as though they love him too...

Scott discovered he has a talent for digging swedish fish out of jello...

Lydia discovered that no matter how hard she tries to 
fight taking naps, 
sometimes you just can't help it...

(picture (and nap) taken on the kitchen floor)

We discovered as a family that we love to have sleepovers and corrupt our young friends with our Wii playing ways...

Hello

My name is Henry.

 I have a love/hate relationship with this snow outifit. 

It's too big. I'm like marshmallow man.

But if I don't wear it my mom doesn't let me play outside. 

I do not like hot tubs:

I'm training our dog Penny to be a 
sled dog/musher:

I didn't notice, but my mom thought this was a pretty cool sunset:

Peace Out.

I would like to make a few announcements

First, 

I am going public with the blog again...soon. 

Did you know that you can't blurp your blog unless you are public??

The importance of blurping this thing is great in my sight and therefore, I shall be going public. 

Before I do that I'll be making a few changes to make this blog "public appropriate".  

You may have noticed I've already started cleaning the pallet. 

Second,

This is important, so take notes. 

Someday, I will own this car:

Mercedes Benz coated in diamonds. 

That. has my name written all. over. it. 

A change of attitude.

Don't be fooled by the title.

I still have attitude concerning my near future.

But I shall cease to torture you all (including myself) with moping.

Honestly, I don't have much to show, though I'm loving my V-day decor. I guess I shall take pictures and show you tomorrow.

Since I have nothing to show & tell, I thought a picture of me doing what I do best while wearing a snuggie may bring a smile to your face:

Yes, searching house listings on MLS is what I do best. And yes, I LOVE my snuggie.  Though as I enlarged the picture I realized what disarray my desk is in. If Scott would have only warned me that he would be taking this picture I could have taken a minute to throw everything on the floor so that my desk would "appear" to be clean and organized.

That was the ONLY day my desk has ever been messy. I swear. You should see it today, spick and span.

Just keepin' it real.

Another whiny post without pictures.

I never wanted to be that kind of blog.

I can't stand reading other peoples whining ...and I need pictures.

For real.


So, it's okay if you just skim this or skip out all together.

Let me just lay it out for you.

I have no creative drive lately. This week I have been remarkably sick and therefore have been zapped of any sort of energy.

I'm still constantly debating weather to go to Utah during Scott's deployment or stay here. The logic in my brain is SCREAMING at me constantly....telling me that I can't do it by myself. I need family with me...not near me, but in the same home.

Yet I still can't shake these teeny, tiny promptings from God that I should stay. Do you see the extremes here?  Logic is SCREAMING and God is prompting in very small ways.


As I was in a very sacred place last night surrounded by the best of  friends I prayed. I prayed hard and felt very strongly that God wants me to have faith in Him and know that He will carry me through.

 I do have faith in Him. However, I'm struggling connecting my faith in Him and my faith in me and my ability to open myself up to Him enough to let him carry me through.

My doubt seems to be taking me over physically, emotionally, and spiritually at the moment.

I'm thinking about Scott being gone con. stant. ly.  At every family dinner or a helpful moment  from him I'm wondering what I would be doing if he were gone already, how would I be handling this moment. Moments like tonight when Henry had been crying and pulling at me for an hour, I feel drained, congested and sleepy,  so Scott took him to the library so I could make dinner. Ah, relief. That, however, will not be available while he is gone.

I think I know where all the doubt and negative thoughts are coming from (satan) but it's hard to rebuttal when I've been without Scott before and would have been utterly hopeless without my family. I know how I handle single parenthood from experience. What makes this time different?

I'm convinced that Heavenly Father is giving me this opportunity because I'm not the greatest of mothers and I need something like this to force me into a place where I can be pushed and molded into one of "those" moms. Probably just (satan) again, but I think that if I can master motherhood right now, then maybe Heavenly Father will spare me.

I know, life doesn't work that way.

There is also a small place in my heart that has hope for a miracle. There is a slight possibility that Scott may not have to go and his co-worker could take his place. This is a one in a million chance, but the possibility is there. I'm praying for a miracle while at the same time praying for faith in God's will....

and some freakish streak of independence.

Blogging?

Yeah, not my strong suite lately.

There has been so much to tell and it all changes so many times each day that I keep postponing until I have final thoughts and I still have no. final. thoughts.

I will tell you that we are still looking for a house. And maybe....just maybe....if the planets line up we will be building our very own house due to be finished the end of May. Updates to come.

I realized I hadn't updated you on the homeschooling drama. Well, there is no more homeschooling drama because Gracie is back in school. I drive her 25 minutes up the highway to a fantastic, highly acedemic school. She LOVES it. I cried for almost 2 hours her first day away, but my heart was bursting because she was giddy with joy when I picked her up. It is very challenging for her and she is doing well.

Now Scott and I are off to a much needed date night. I'm not sure where this uncharacteristic desire to see Avatar came from, but alas, he is determined and so we shall indulge.
I thought about not going for about .36 seconds when Henry screamed for and hour before he finally fell asleep for his afternoon nap but hey, this date night is MUCH NEEDED. Who knows, he is so overly-tired that he may just sleep the whole night through. Or more likely he'll wake up at 11 tonight and keep me up until 2. But it will be so worth it because I'm going on a date! Do you think that means I'll only have to pay her the 2 kid rate as opposed to the 3 kid rate??

My Classifieds:

WANTED:

A fun, easygoing, and hardworking person to come live with me and help care for my children for 6 months.

Will provide room and board, food (lots of junk food), daily makeovers, and a super-sweet 1999 Chevy Silverado with an off-the-hook stereo system, a bad paint job and huge tires!!

A once in a lifetime opportunity to witness daily breakdowns, change poopy diapers, watch lots of movies and play Barbies for hours on end! All in the amazing Alaskan summer.

Position opens mid-March and terminates as soon as my husband returns; scheduled for the end of September, but you never know with the military.

To apply please leave a detailed comment.

Thank you.

My brain just may explode.

I can't think of anything other than my options for my approaching future.

*Stay in Alaska.

*Go to Utah.

*Be a single mom.

*Stress my parents out and be confined to sharing a home.

*Buy a big house I love.

*Buy a small house I don't love, but we'd save money.

*Not buy a house, and have to live in a hotel until we find a new place to live when Scott comes back.  Which would also mean me driving for 2 hours a day taking Gracie to and from school (which Gracie loooooovvvves ~btw~ the school, I mean).  I can handle this for a little while...but not very long. At the moment I carpool with sweet Melinda, but she'll be moving into her new home soon.

 Confused?

I'm such a rollercoaster. I change my mind seriously 10 times each day. At moments I feel strong and independent, feeling like I can handle being here without Scott. Other moments, like last night, I have breakdowns at the thought of him not being here to eat dinner with us, and laugh with me, and I cry and feel so interdependent.

I've prayed. And prayed. And prayed. It seems as though God is telling me that either option will be okay. Neither option is "wrong" necessarily. I just need to make a decision and stick with it. However, this is one of my characteristical (not a word, but that's okay) faults. I'm HORRIBLY indecisive. And so is Scott. We're a bad mix in that area.

Why am I telling you all this?

I'm giving you my excuse for having nothing interesting to blog about.

Also, I'm a slave to other's opinions. So, if you don't mind...

What do YOU think?

Adventure from Utah, part 2.

And so I will finish my story. 

Since I know you were all dying to know how it is we got home. 

On the edge of your seats. 

I can tell. 

So, I like this picture because it represents a lot of how our time in Sacramento felt:

Warm. Sunny. Family.  Chablis needs to diet.

About 2/3 of a mile from our condo was a cute park and duck pond.

It was time Henry faced his manhood and learned how to feed a duck:

He was not a fan.

Gracie and Lydia are fans.

Of feeding ducks that is:

The candid family shot minus one:

If it hadn't been as beautiful there as it was I might have gone loopy. No car = CRAZY Chablis. But we made it through somehow.

During one of our many grocery trips Scott found a gingerbread kit. It was a huge hit. I like this picture for 3 reasons:

1. Lydia's over-cheesiness at the excitement of having something to do besides feed ducks...again.
2. Gracie's intense contemplation as she decides the exact placement of her candy. So Gracie.
3. My finger placed in my mouth is a clear representation of my character whenever surrounded by any form of food. This helps my soul searching process...

The masterpiece.

p.s. I might be willing to purchase a home that resembles this so long as it was built after 2000, has a decent yard for Penny, and at least 3 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms. No winner yet.

And so,

$150.00 grocery bill, a phone call from the boss(yes, we had just decided to buy real food before we were kindly rebuked by Scott's boss), and a heart sinking credit card purchase later....

we're on a commercial flight home.

The End.

Forgive my lack of blogging as of late.

I'm going through a sort of mid-life crisis. We may be possibly buying a house....maybe.


But that would mean I'm all by myself while Scott is deployed.



Me-no-likey. 



But...



I'm not sure Utah is where I want to  be either.


You see,


I'm convinced that if I can move into a neighborhood with nicer neighbors and be closer to friends...


I'll survive. 


Will I?


I'm sure we will, but not without needing psychotherapy. Ahhh, the joys of a secure job.


In the meantime, I'll be spending even MORE time on MLS and craigslist...


if that's possible.


 And trying to find a 400K house for 200K.

Wish me luck.

 xoxo

Merry Christmas

We didn't get to family pictures this year. Maybe before Scott leaves.

So, here's Penny wishing you a Merry Christmas!