I can't think of anything other than my options for my approaching future.
*Stay in Alaska.
*Go to Utah.
*Be a single mom.
*Stress my parents out and be confined to sharing a home.
*Buy a big house I love.
*Buy a small house I don't love, but we'd save money.
*Not buy a house, and have to live in a hotel until we find a new place to live when Scott comes back. Which would also mean me driving for 2 hours a day taking Gracie to and from school (which Gracie loooooovvvves ~btw~ the school, I mean). I can handle this for a little while...but not very long. At the moment I carpool with sweet Melinda, but she'll be moving into her new home soon.
Confused?
I'm such a rollercoaster. I change my mind seriously 10 times each day. At moments I feel strong and independent, feeling like I can handle being here without Scott. Other moments, like last night, I have breakdowns at the thought of him not being here to eat dinner with us, and laugh with me, and I cry and feel so interdependent.
I've prayed. And prayed. And prayed. It seems as though God is telling me that either option will be okay. Neither option is "wrong" necessarily. I just need to make a decision and stick with it. However, this is one of my characteristical (not a word, but that's okay) faults. I'm HORRIBLY indecisive. And so is Scott. We're a bad mix in that area.
Why am I telling you all this?
I'm giving you my excuse for having nothing interesting to blog about.
Also, I'm a slave to other's opinions. So, if you don't mind...
What do YOU think?
6 comments:
Hey Chablis! Thought I'd chime in on this one... Honestly, having your family close to you while Scott is gone sounds like a darn good option. I don't know about you, but as a stay at home mom, it is easy for me to feel isolated and alone - even with Michael coming home every evening. If you were with your family, you would have the stress of sharing a home, but you would be assured of much love and support, without the respon-sibilities of owning/maintaining a home by yourself. That's just my two cents worth. Living with my family for 18 months was not easy, but it was an amazing blessing for us at a very hard/lonely time in our lives. Y'all are definitely in our prayers. Lacy still asks me when Gracie is coming to Georgia... So sorry I've been such a pathetic blogger lately. I did just publish a new post, though :)
Woman, you make me cry for you. I so want you to be happy and have some peace. I wish Scott could stay!
Option 1: Stay: Workouts twice a week in ER in one more month, once a week play date at Arctic Gym, Summer dipnetting (yes I will drag you there with children in tow!), you get a dividend x5, park day in the summer, and anything else that you need. I will even sleep over when you need extra company.
Option 2: Utah: Many good things I am sure.........I will just miss you, but all of my other great girlfriends are there. Maybe you could all start a playgroup called the long distance friends of Bobbi. =) Really, I just want you to be happy, so whatever you need, I am there!
In my opinion I would not stay and come to Utah!! Not only because I would love to have you nice and close, but when we lived in New Mexico and Jed would travel I had friends that would keep me company, but its so much better having family here when he travels. If makes you not feel so lonely and its great having extra help. Although it is really hard going from not having family around and then constantly having them around. Another option is renting an apartment around here so you are close to family that could help but you arent living with them driving each other crazy!! Good luck woman!
Those are really tough decisions! If it were me, I'd want to be close to family... I think that the idea someone else mentioned about renting an apartment or something like that might be a great option. Cause then you can have the closeness of family, but also have some of your own space...
I know exactly how you are feeling on the single parent front. Erik is probably going to be gone most of the first 6 months because of work. It's not something I'm looking forward to or enjoying (because he's gone right now). I enjoy being close to my family while he's gone. I like what Shannon said about renting an apartment close to your parents, because then you still have them close should you need them, but you don't have to deal with the stress of living with someone else. Buying a home when Scott is getting ready to leave would be really hard. You would be responsible for all the upkeep. At least while you are renting, you could call the landlord should anything go wrong. Anyway, that's just my opinion, but that's what you asked for too. lol
I would move closer to family. It's only for a short while and the support would be much needed. Family always helps, even if they do get on your nerves, I think doing everything on your own will get depressing. Not that you couldn't do it! :)
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